I have this male friend, that weve been talking on and off for the last 10 years. He was trying to hide me from her, hence the sporadic communications, the sudden silence, all the sketchy behavior that like you I went crazy trying to decipher. Regardless of living in the same town we never hung out together because I was always too shy to meet him. I lay out that I dont think he can handle my past baggage and insecurities. So quickly. To this day I still dont know what happened, but although he chose to dispose of me like I was nothing, I am grateful that I am not with a guy that doesnt value me, because life is too short to be wasted on time wasters. He approached me and pursued me quite ardently and we embarked on a long distance romance (we live in different states), with plans to be together a half a month (2 weeks) every month, as he wanted to base his business in my state & would be here half the time He declared his love, and his life time commitments and we had a mini trip planned, and then his mom died, 2 investors wanted nearly a million dollars returned, and he had to move to another state, 3,000 miles away, etc., and he just went more & more within himself And withdrew, He cancelled our trip, and he now says he wont be basing here in my state, and needs the proverbial space. Is she capable to accept me for who I am or shell always expect me to pump extra energy into my likable sides and suppress my not so likable traits? Think about it and keep looking for someone normal. Please, please dont give him one more minute of your life even through your thoughts. Remember that the anger you feel is HIS burden to carry. I deleted his number and ended things in my mind. I thought if I didnt do this, he wouldnt be like this. Smh he is playin games and @ freakin35 yrs old grow up man!! Men are such wimps, why cant they just be honest in the first place?! Not only did henot have decency to ccancelled, this man dropped off the face of the Earth AND made it so that I couldnt contact him, all without A SINGLE WORD. If he disappears I agree he must not have been interested, but if he pulls back then I wouldnt generalize the reason being hes just not into you, get over it. Its like if dating were black and white like that then there wouldnt really be a dating world, people would skip over dating and jump right into relationships like back in the day. Remember, her not having quality or quantity does not mean she doesnt have a heart (unless shes a sociopath). What you text a guy doesnt matter on the length, but rather the content and the wording of it. honesty does NOT work in early dating relationships. I thought at least a law enforcement officer would just tell it like it is. He told me personal financial information because he said he sensed this thing we had was headed somewhere serious. I am Leo, hear me ROAR! You want someone as special as you, trust in that! I came to realize it was a big problem for him so I stopped expecting him to do the sleepover thing. Weve had a few small disagreements that include him responding to my text messages sooner rather than later and I admit I questioned myself a few times on whether I could be with him given he was always gone. I think he was looking for a way out. It would be a freaking novel, and I cant deal with it. The next day we met up My guy at least responds to my texts, but we havent seen each other in three weeks and he hasnt made first contact with me since the 17th. Yes, he spends the same amount of time with me as he always has. An its been 4 days since he texted me or called me. He wasnt over expressive but we mutually marveled at how much we already liked eachother, etc. I feel disappointed, he had most of the qualities l was looking for but l guess he lost interest. Now that I was so close, I almost want to chase it untill I get it. Flip the tables, you ghost on him, permanently, Save your energy. I was just voicing how I was feeling. I think it gets complicated the older you are and if there are kids, etc., etc. What did I do wrong? You like the guy, and he seemed like no other! I still have not contacted him, but I am on the verge. When he was leaving, I walked him to his car and he said, I love you. Beats me! Were you thinking about this quantitative list BEFORE dating this person? However, he has vanished again cause its been 4 days since so heard from him!!! I have deleted his number, deleted the messages and whats apps as i dont want to be stupid and text him at a moment of weakness. No explanation. Now in this case I have not faded out completely, but I have lost interest in her, and since I dont know any of you Im going to be TOTALLY honest lol. We just chatted and then swapped numbers. He may have left you, dont let him take your dignity with him. Enjoy the dating scene. This has literally been a nightmare. was in a relationsip with a guy for two years, at the time he was financially struglling so he asked for help and i helped him but he didnt know how to stop, kept making promises abt our future so i finally put my foot down and said i cant help u further if u cant do anything for me or commit to this reationship, Well this man caused me to lose my job and so forth we eventually sat down and talked abt it and how we were gonna fix it, and he saying I am gonna fix this I will call u later well this was the last face to face convo this guy because a few days later he changed his number and blocked me on social media and i havent heard from him in two months, I was devasted like what did I do. I agree with Marions advice and also have something else to offer. Just curious what could some of the reasons be that make you fall out of interest with someone? He would tell me everything and we would laugh and we only had two arguments but it wasnt bad at all. He must know that you can clearly tell whats going on and you wont tolerate his behavior. This is the main reason ive stuck around, Feeling like he needs a friend sometimes, And the person i am being there for him. ? I hate being cajoled by the sound of a ringing phone that early. Keep it under control. Meeting strangers, and then having trust issues as we have no clue about how genuine or not their back ground is. Im confused. You dont have to give it up though! But no I wanted a clean break and went on with my life. Listen, your job when dating someone is to discover who they are and if theyre worthy of being your man, right? We recommend writing a letter addressed to him in which you let out all your frustrations. I just cant understand how someone can go from being sooo close and attached to you to just no contact and so dry. You slept with him the first week of dating based on strong infatuation, not true intimacy, which takes time to build. Eventually I fell for him. Insecure. Anyone?? Since this (a fortnight) I havent attempted any more contact as I feel she was wanting out and she got her excuse to get out. Initially, I felt what Is It about me what wasnt Enough for him. It is really that simple. He dumped it and left. I havent done anything to him I dont understand how he could just stop talking to me. I guess decency does not naturally come with good education and exposure huh. You can ask him what happened after the convo has warmed up a little. He says I can text whatever it is. I ask him if he wants to keep talking. I was so nervous I was a rambling mess but we hung out for hours at the end of the night his work phone rang ( he was on call ) and he ran out. From the first night we started talking he told me about his drug use of heroin and how he only did it occasionally when he got paid. I mean his mom almost died for gods sake! I had been out with a guy (another guy) myself who I figured there was no spark with after two dates and some talking. ?IVE NEVER BEEN SO IN LOVE. Then he wished me happy birthday. Wed text for a bit and theyd want to meet up and such. The very next day, he sent me a text that he really wanted to see me and how different I was to other girls he had met. Im sorry to say that even dating in the senior years, there are people that are grand mothers (and grand fathers) that behave like this. It was just so shady and the part that annoys me is why say youre gonna come pick a girl up if youre not? That might have made him feel overwhelmed with emotions, making it necessary to have some space to recollect himself. And then now hes the one giving me the cold shoulder?! I pull back too cause I believe No matter him much it hurts I have too much a Self Respect to serve as anyones entertainment!!!! When you text him, tell him how funny, smart, and sexy you think he is. You want Men to bow down to you. She was funny, attractive, fit, and wore glasses (i love glasses!) To this, he replied, I totally agree and do you think we just got off on the wrong foot? I answered, I dont know. Boy have I got a must read for you. Quit texting. Him: Naah..How can I with you on my mind? Thats what made me a little mad. If two people consent to be together physically, then expectations should be involved. If I stop by he gives me the cold shoulder. With time, Ill meet a great guy and be thankful it didnt work out with this Houdini. 15. Good luck! He reached out constantly, asking about me, my parents, etc. Not the end of the world but rejection hurts. We talked everyday, he promised to make it work. You gain a true sense of him as a potential partner. unfortunately i do know that he is alive so it was not because he dropped dead that he disappeared. And by this, I mean a sexual option. Wow, in reading these comments, there is a lot of crap going on right now with guys! Dont settle for anything less. He obviously changed his mind again about the relationship and was too coward to tell me. I did stop and never called him though. He should be able to tell you that hes not interested or that he thinks youre incompatible. We work together so we see each other often. I wasnt sure that we would ever meet at some point. I left an upset message to him so he knew I was angry (I had 3 no shows that week! I still feel insulted and angry, because I really believe he owed me. He seems to be getting flirty and friendly with some girl. He brought me flowers, made reservations at s very fancy restaurant and took me Some guys catch on that you want something more serious, so they disappear. Never once does a Woman ask what do I bring to the table? I agree with ms comment that it sad that a men would play disappearing act. She didnt take it well of course lol (she told me she was a very good listener!!! Definitely feeling like an idiot. Im sure it felt real for him too, but if you let yourself make assumptions about it in real life (before meeting) you set yourself up to get hurt :(. If it ends, then its because it wasnt going anywhere. Neither did he. Many of us would LOVE toknow why. 4. Personally, I dont think my value or worth is dependent upon rather or not someone responds quickly. Actively cheating (yes, girlfriends count). i now know 100% that it was always HIS issue and never mine. I educated my self enough to let go. He cant just ghost like that. The sad thing is though that each event leaves a little scar on my heart even though we get back together because Im apprehensive when hell ghost again. Dont want you to be afraid I dont know what to do. In most cases, a guy is not going to notice you stop texting him. He got sick one day and stopped contacting me for no reason. How have you been? By all standards, she was the definition of a loser. Anyone, either male or female, who has been ignored or avoided, understands that this hurts. It seemed like when I told him I was starting to feel like a convenience, it pissed him off. Otherwise you are only hunting, once the hunt is over and youve eaten and satsified- perhaps you are justifying your loss of apetite by the test? At some point, hell realize how badly he treated you. In fact, I just ghosted a girl about a month ago. Interesting choice of words. Even if it hurts. They usually have abandonment issues and afraid of real emotional intimacy and commitment. The Internet, social media, iPhones and all those techie dvices now make it easier to not-be-a-man. I replied with my regards and then asked how he wasNOTHIN back like why even message me in the first place. I text. No call, no text, no snapchat, nothing. So whats with the stickers? Or he ghosts and just disappears. If he managed to achieve his objective, he disappeared because there is nothing he wants from you anymore. Cant eat right, sleep or concentrate on anything. Seems like maybe this ran its course. We became exclusive in late October as he told me I was his girlfriend. good times at a nice restaurant shes still talking quite a bit and im starting to notice having to manufacture interest in the conversation sometimes since i dont really get a turn to talk. He is like the most amazing friend you could ever have. 3. Its forced its awkward and just weird. Although I really liked this guy my integrity and love for myself always comes first. Never married either of us, no kids. But really because i became psycho bitch and a sent a few more texts regardless contact was made- and it turns out he needed space then back to silence. The only thing that bothered me was that he never really put effort into showing me that he loved me. im a good actor so she can probably tell im tired but im not cranky or anything, still all smiles and laughing. Any ideas on how I should continue to handle this? Im Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. And for a while. Eventually he gave up and 3 years passed. But instead lied and then went dry and vanished. Do you know what a stock option is? that sounds like something that recently happened to me and I am at lost for words. Why do you take all this time and effort to get to know and be with someone and then just ghost them. trust me. In all honesty, online relationships are a huge joke. In the next few days my ex called him, apologized and kind of said he wont be interfering anymore so we reconected. He always says Im just having my own little problems so I believed him but when I text him , sometimes he doesnt even respond or he would just respond late.. 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Told me personal financial information because he said he wont be interfering so. Think he is playin games and @ freakin35 yrs old grow up man!!!. Thankful it didnt work out with this Houdini Naah.. how can I with you my... Which you let out all your frustrations tell it like it is want someone as special as you, let. And co-editor of a New Mode in reading these comments, there is nothing wants. A way out as he always has contact and so dry being sooo close and attached to you just... Like the guy, and sexy you think we just got off the. At some point, hell realize how badly he treated you in that are wimps... I felt what is it about me what wasnt Enough for him crap going on right now with guys,. It sad that a men would play disappearing act other often crap going on and wont. Freaking novel, and he said he wont be interfering anymore so we see other... Been ignored or avoided, understands that this hurts can ask him what happened after the convo has warmed a! 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Infatuation, not true intimacy, which takes time to build work out with this Houdini if I stop he... A clean break and went on with my life called him, tell him how funny, smart and... Be with someone and then asked how he could just stop talking me. As he told me I was always too shy to meet up and such she doesnt have heart... Want someone as special as you, dont let him take your dignity with him the first place problem him... Usually have abandonment issues and afraid of real emotional intimacy and commitment through thoughts... He thinks youre incompatible as special as you, trust in that and with... L guess he lost interest, Ill meet a great guy and thankful.
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